


A Hopeless Place

by actualjohnwatson



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Powers, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Love Triangles, M/M, Oblivious Steve Rogers, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-06
Updated: 2016-07-04
Packaged: 2018-07-12 15:32:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7111855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/actualjohnwatson/pseuds/actualjohnwatson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seventeen year old Steve Rogers just wants to spend the summer with his boyfriend before Real Life and Adulthood catches up with them. But when a handsome, magnetic stranger walks into his life it's all he can do to keep it together. Will Steve choose his rock solid and steady high school sweetheart or the fast talking boy with a heart of gold?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Those hardest to love need it most

“Buck.”

He snores on, oblivious of my chattering teeth.

“Bucky!”

I kick him in the shin this time and he stirs in his sleep, pulling the blankets tight around himself like a cocoon. It’s the middle of May, how is it this cold? The wind blows strait through the tent making the hair on my arms stand up. “Do you want coffee? “

He makes a growling noise that I interpret as a yes. “Then give me one of the blankets so I can boil some water.”

He whines, but peels one of the blankets off his shoulders and hands it to me. I wrap it around myself before stepping outside in to the mist. I stumble around in the half-light, looking for our sad pile of kindling and try and feed the fire. I pump some water for the kettle and make us some coffee.

Bucky. He’s never been a morning person. And he’s a little rough around the edges but I love him. I mean he’s my boyfriend of course I love him. He used to say I was his hero and I would laugh because I’d been this scrawny shrimp as a kid, but he’d look at me with his series dark eyes and say, “You fight like a jungle cat!”

He’s not wrong. I fought tooth and nail anyone who ever had an unkind work to say. Anybody who picked on _that kid._  The one who’d didn’t have the right clothes or the one who acted a little different. Bucky pulled me out of so many fights I couldn’t count them all if I tried. After he scared whoever it was off me he’d pick me up dust me off and that was that.

Sometimes he’d say, Steve your gonna kill yourself, or Steve that little shit isn’t worth your time, or even on occasion, Steve there were three of those guys. But he never tried to convince me to quit.

Now that I’ve gotten healthier (stronger, taller) I’m a little more… intimidating. People stop when I ask them to stop. Buck hasn’t had to pull me off anybody in a while.

Bucky slinks down next me, his dark hair covering his eyes, wrapped in his blanket cape.

“Is the he coffee ready?” I nod and pore him a cup.

He grins at me. “Thank you handsome.“

I smile back. “No problem sugar.”

 We’ve always been together. Not _together together_ that came later but I’ve known him my whole life.  Our moms used to bring us to the park the same time every week. My mom used to say I learned to walk holding Bucky’s hand. I don’t know what I’d do without him. He’s like my right arm.

We drink our coffee in companionable silence until he bumps me with his shoulder.

“You ready?” He asks

“If you are.”

 He nods and stands up, pulling me to my feet. I douse the fire and we change from pajama bottoms and blanket capes into our regular clothes, and head out into the misty morning. Driving towards the secluded beach we’d spotted last night.

We’d planned this trip since freshmen year, this summer after graduation trip. It was going to be out last hoorah. We’d drive from Brooklyn to California and camp out in the forest under the stars. When we’d get home at the end of the summer Buck would join the army and me? Well, I wasn’t sure what I’d do. He’d asked me to go through it with him. At first I’d been set on it too and then I kept getting these flyers in the mail. Flyers for art schools that were too expensive and too prestigious for a guy like me.  I filled out a few applications, sent in my portfolios never expecting to hear anything back and actually getting in to the one I wanted.

I hadn’t told Buck about the school. He was so dead set that we’d join the army together that I hadn’t had the hart. I figured I didn’t have to decide right now. I had all summer.

We walked along the beach as the dawn broke.

“Who lives in that thing I wonder?” Buck says pointing at he the huge house set behind the shore line, hidden between the trees

“Some snobby rich people probably,” I say shrugging. This town is full of them. Plastic faced women who looked down their noses at us and guys who shoes cost more money than my whole wardrobe.

“How do people get away with having that much money?” He asks. The house looms upon us. This isn’t anything compared to a city skyline but still. His huge and out in the middle of nowhere “Do you think they have a butler?”  I ask, and a disembodied voice answers.

“We do actually. His names Jarvis. He’s the Alfred to my Batman. I think I do the whole genius billionaire playboy philanthropist thing better then Wayne does though. This beach is mine too. It’s privet. As in your trespassing.”

There’s no real malice in the voice but Bucky steps in front of me on high alert. I look up at the deck and see a guy sitting in the corner. He must have heard us gossiping. I bump Bucky with my shoulder pointing him out. Bucky relaxes slightly and stands just to the side of me. The guy walks to the edge of the raised deck and the smell of his coffee hits me when he leans over the railings. 

He looks a little older then us. In his early twenties at the most. I get a good look at his face. He has dark hair with floppy bangs. They’re wet like maybe he just got out of the shower. He smirks at me like the cat that ate the canary but his chocolate brown eyes are wide and playful…and something else. Something lonesome.

“I’m not used to people out here. Nobody knows about this place, like I’ve literally never seen another person use this beach. It's a terrible shame. So many missed opportunities” He smiles and his wide eyes brighten. He has dimples when he grins like that. Something makes me smile back at him.  

_What are you doing Stevie, you have a boyfriend remember? He’s standing right next to you._ I bight my lip and look over at Bucky. He’s glaring bullets at brown eyes. When I look away from him he shifts a little nearer to me, almost imperceptibly.

“So blondie,” Brown eyes says, ”You and your friend wanna come in for some breakfast?”

I say no thank you as my stomach growls. It's loud. There’s no way brown eyes doesn’t hear it. But he doesn’t laugh. He just raises an eyebrow and says. “Come on up blondie.” And he opens the gate form the stairs to the walkway turns and walks inside leaving the glass doors open behind him.

I walk in the house (mansion) and its all wood floors and modern furniture.

It looks too clean. Like a model home. “Don’t touch anything here or you’ll have to pay for it.” Bucky mumbles in my ear.

 “This is a nice place you’ve got.”  I say choosing not to acknowledge Bucky’s commentary.

“It’s not exactly mine,” he say.  “I didn’t pay for any of it.” He reaches for a couple of frying pans and a big red bowl. “Most of this stuff is what my mom picked out for this place. Sit down you’re making me nervous.” I drag Buck to one of the stools in the kitchen and we sit down.  “Where you from blondie?”

Bucky leans over to me and says quietly, “Fast talker. Probably trying to sell us something.”

“Uh, Brooklyn. “ I say trying very hard to ignore the anti-Jiminy Cricket in my ear.  

He nods. “Thought so. You’re here for the trees?”

I nod and he takes a couple of eggs from the carton.  “Your accent’s nice. It reminds me of – well, it’s just nice okay?” he says juggling the eggs high in the air catching them before they hit the ground

“What are you doing?” I ask horrified

“I’m scrambling some eggs, what’s it look like”. He grins at me and my chest goes tight. “You like ‘um scrambled?”

“Yeah, Thanks.”

"What about you scruffy,” he says nodding at Bucky. “Is scrambled ok?”

 

“Nothing.”

 

I kick him under the counter hard enough that he winces. “Nothing-for me. Thank you.” He adds quickly. Brown eyes looks from Buck to me amused.

“Suit yourself.” He says and starts to crack the eggs into the bowl. The sausage and bacon smell great and my stomach rumbles again. The permanent smirk on his face widens a fraction but he doesn’t say anything.

"So you should probably introduce yourselves. It feels weird making breakfast for strangers.” I smile. He’s kinda…funny. 

“You’re the one who offered to make us breakfast, stranger.” He gives me a sharp look. Quick and decisive. But when he looks back down at the bowl of eggs and cheese he’s beating together, a smirk’s plastered back on his face.

“I asked first.” he says

“Bucky.” Buck growls at him.

 Brown eyes looks at me, screwing up his face. “Who’s Bucky? You’re Bucky?” He points his egg covered whisk at me. “Bucky? Really?”

“I‘m Bucky. That’s Steve. My boyfriend Steve.” The leave him alone is silent but the point comes across loud and clear.

“Boyfriend.” His ears turn bright red and he drops the whisk in the bowl. “Boyfriend. Ok.”

I look at the ceiling. This again.

“If you’ll excuse me. I’ve gotta go jump off a cliff. Help yourselves to breakfast just lock the place up on your way out, would ya?”

I glare at Bucky as brown eyes books it toward the hall. “Wait! It’s an honest mistake-“ I hear a door slam and I turn back to Buck.

“What was that? We were having a nice conversation and you just barked at that poor guy.”

“Oh with that smarmy asshole? He was flirting with you Steve. Grotesquely.”

“I don’t know how many times we’ve talked about this but I don’t need you to defend my honor from every guy I come in contact with.”

“Don’t I?” he looks at me darkly

“The guy’s harmless. He’s just lonely Buck. You think maybe he just wanted a little company?”

“That’s exactly what I was thinking. He’s a con artist Steve. A player. Don’t you recognize him from the news? He’s one of those guys that likes to take advantage of other people."

I narrow my eyes at him. Oh I see what this about now. I think I can handle myself just fine thanks.

But I don’t say anything. I take a breath and count to ten and blow all the anger away.

I try and make a joke instead “I’m pretty sure He’s not going to be able to take advantage of me. besides if he tried you’d punch his lights out.”

Bucky gives me a small smile. “Your damn right I would.” He runs a hand through his hair. “Maybe I did over react a little.” He walks over to the bowl of eggs and picks the whisk out of the goop, making a face. “Go find him and I’ll finish up with these eggs before they give us salmonella. But if he tries to get you into bed I swear to-

“So close Buck.” I say cutting him off. “So close.”

I turn into the long hallway wondering where to start when I hear a tap tap of a phone chirping from the door to the right of me.

“Um-”I still have no idea what to call him. “Hey. You okay in there?”

“Not really. Dying of shame takes a lot of a person.” 

“It was a mistake. Don’t feel too bad about it.”

“No, it was completely intentional until your boyfriend tried to eat me. So I think I’ll stay in here.”

“He isn’t gonna hurt you. He means well, he just comes off a little…gruff sometimes.  And he’s making you breakfast. Just come out.”

“… You got him to make me breakfast?”

“Yeah?”

“Tight leash huh? Well I’d love to join you trust me, but I don’t want to be poisoned. Maybe another time. Maybe in a hundred years. So go away. If that wasn’t clear.”

Tight leash? “Just come out and eat with us.”

Silence.

“I’m not leaving.”

Silence.

“I can stand out here all day.”

There is a loud exasperated sigh. “You’re not going to go away are you?

“No.”

“Fine. Back up I’m coming out.”

He opens the door and two brooms and a mop fall out with him.

"What are you doing in the broom closet?” I say laughing.

“It’s not a broom closet,” he grumbles, “It’s a regular closet where we keep the cleaning supplies.”

He picks them up and puts them back in the broom closet.

“It’s driving me crazy man, what’s your name?

“Tony to my friends,” he says dusting his hands off on his ratty jeans “Mr. Stark to my employees, Such a Disappointment, to everyone else.

Tony Stark? Where’ve I heard that name before? It’s something like, ‘Media Mogul Tony Stark’, or ‘Teen Heart Throb Tony Stark’ or ‘Heir to the Business Empire Tony Stark’. One of those or maybe all three. It’s not something I care all that much about.

I shrug and say “I’m just Steve to everybody. Steve Rogers.” I hold out my hand.

He looks at it and then looks back up at me. His round eyes piercing through me. “Are you for real Rogers?"

But he takes my hand. I jump like I’ve been shot by an electric pulse. It feels kinda like I was.

“You sure are jumpy for a big guy,” Tony says.

That’s not embarrassing at all. “Just a little surprised, I guess. It’s nice to meet you Tony.”

“You too, Rogers. Come on, let’s get some breakfast.”

Buck’s got his hair back and he’s pushing the eggs around the pan. There’s a red head sitting across from him. She looks up at me, “Was he in the closet again?” She says dryly.

“Nat come on,” Tony groans. “Try to be cool." He gestures wildly at the red head, "This is Natasha, she’s my babysitter.”

“I’m the one who needs to be cool and you refer to me as your babysitter?” She says, deadpan. I can’t get a read on her.

“Personal assistant. Whatever. The point is I didn’t really want _everyone_ ,” he says pointedly looking at Bucky, “Knowing I was hiding in a closet.”

“Don’t worry,” Bucky says coolly, “She’s told me all about your weird habits.”

“I should be mad or surprised but I’m just done with today. What time is it eight o’clock? Oh, eight oh three perfect.” He slumps down next to Natasha.

She ignores him and turns to me. “You must be Steve,” she says giving me the once over.

“It’s not nice hit on other people’s boyfriends Tony. Even if they are this cute.” She winks at me and Bucky Laughs.

Buck knows how I feel about girls. He feels that way too, but he’s okay with this girl, pretty girl, flirting with me. He laughs when she does it. Something isn’t quite right here.

“I’m not anything special,” I mumble. And Tony groans into the counter.

 “Ye gods what have done to deserve this day?” He slides to the floor like a cartoon character.

Natasha nudges him with her foot but leaves him on the floor.  He looks so pitiful I bend down and pull him up by the arm.

“Are you for real Stark?” I ask him grinning. His ears are a bright red

“Can’t you leave me alone?” He’s pouting

“Nope, you’re stuck with me.”

And he gives me this quick grin that shows off his dimples. But it’s gone when he sits back on the stool between me and Natasha.

Buck serves us the scrambled eggs and bacon. He’s even nice to Tony during the meal. Smiling and laughing and everything.

When she’s done Nat pushes her plate away and leans back. “So, what are you boys up to today?”

 I look at Bucky and he shrugs, “Hiking I guess?”

“Tony,” she says, looking over at him, “Used to hike out here, once upon I time.”

“Yeah,” he grumbles pushing the leftover food around his plate. “Because there’s nothing else to do here.”

“I heard you liked it.” Nat says, teasing.

“Rhodie’s a dirty liar.”

“I think you deserve a day off.” she blinks back at him.

Tony shakes his head. “What do you think Pep would say? She’s your boss after all.”

“What would Ms. Potts say?” Natasha smiles at him wide and sly “You asked for it.”

Nat straitens her shoulders and pulls her hair back away from her face. When she speaks her voice is higher and clipped. “You’re going to kill yourself, Tony, if you don’t unwind a little." 

Tony shudders, “Stop it! That’s creepy”

“Have you showered today? When’s the last time you ate a piece of fruit? Do you want to get scurvy?”

“Okay okay! I’ll go! Just stop! I’m having flash backs!” He shudders again and then looks at me, “I mean- can I go?”

“You know the area.” I say, “It should be fun.”

He turns back to Natasha, “You’re coming.”

I get off my stool and stretch “It’ll feel good get some exercise.” I say taking the dirty dishes off the counter and head to the sink.

“We’d have to drive a little bit. Can you drive, uh, Bucky?”

Yeah,” he says suspiciously.

“Nat why don’t you take him down to the garage and let him pick somthin’ out.”

She sighs looks at Tony and shakes her head. “Come on James.” She says heading down the staircase off to the right of the living room.

Nobody calls him James, not even me. Ever. But he doesn’t bat an eyelash, just gets up and follows her. He brushes my arm as he passes me and then heads down stairs.

I turn the water on in the sink and start to scrub the dishes.

Tony hops up on counter beside me. “You know I pay someone to do that.”

“It’s polite.” I say.

“You're polite,” He says it like insult, like a comeback, and I smile up at him. The sunshine plays across his face and highlights the chestnut in his dark hair. And damn it I’ve got to admit he’s a good looking guy 

“I am- sorry,” he says visibly struggling with the words, “By the way, if I made you uncomfortable. With the flirting. I didn’t know you had a boyfriend.”

I purse my lips trying to hold back my amusement. “It’s okay, I didn’t even notice. I thought you were being friendly.”

He cocks his head at me and narrows his wide eyes. “Are you secretly some kind of Disney Prince?”

“Mmm, you’d be surprised.” I say grinning at him.

“You have no idea who I am, do you?” he says it quietly and I think he’s being serious for the first time all morning.

“Yeah of course I do. You’re my crazy friend Tony.”

“Eccentric” He says correcting me. The smirk back on his face.

There’s aloud _toot toot_ below us and Tony rubs his hands together grinning manically. He jumps off the counter and tugs at my arm.

“Come on blondie, you’ll love this. My car collection is probably my crowning achievement in life. And I graduated from MIT at 17 so you know, it’s pretty great.”

He leads the way. Speaking in rapped fire, an endless stream of consciousness. 

I rub my arm where his fingers touched my skin. I can still feel the heat from his hand. 

A knot forms in the pit of my stomach. This is bad. This is probably a disaster. But a part of me clings to the feeling I got when he touched me. Part of me craves it.

 

 


	2. Didn't I My Dear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is going to get angsty. You've been warned.   
> Thanks for taking the time to read this. I really appreciate you.

“Hey am I boring you or what?”

I blink, “What?”

Tony rolls his eyes. “Okay that’s fine. You’re not a car guy. Shoulda known.”

“No! I was just spacing out a little, you talk about your car.” Spacing out and thinking about how soft Tony’s mouth must be. Bad. This is bad Rogers.

He smirks at me, “Don’t patronize me blondie. Genius remember?”

“I think you’ve mentioned that yeah. Maybe we should head out of here.” I look back over my shoulder. Natasha’s filing her nails and Buck's playing on his phone.

“We can’t go yet!” he yelps. And I turn towards him cocking my head. “We need water. Can’t go out there with no water, what are you crazy? And food. We’ll need the backpacks behind you. Be a doll and grab them for me, would ya?”

I pull them from the cabinet and Tony packs water, snacks, and a first aid kit carefully like he’s checking off some kind of list in his head. He hands me the red one and takes the yellow one for himself. “What else?” he drum’s his fingers on the desk in front of him. “Maybe I should write Jarvis a note-“

“Quit stalling!” Natasha’s hanging out the window of the old ford mercury. Buck leans on its horn.

“Alright, jeez!” Tony gives me a ‘can you believe them?’ look and I just shake my head, squeezing myself into the back. It’s not a big cab and even though I’m as close to the window as possible Tony’s ratty jeans brush up against me.

It looks like there’s something off going on with him. He’s sitting at the edge of the seat, practically vibrating. 

He bursts when Bucky starts the car. “Hey Nat did you-“

“I called Ms. Potts and let her know where you’d be. She cancelled all your appointments for the day. Don’t worry.”

“Okay. Great. Thanks Nat.” He’s quiet for the first time all day as we drive out of the garage and around the bend. I crane my neck to get a look at the blue water beside us and catch the frantic look in Tony’s eyes as he looks over the side of the cliff. He’s scrubbing at his face with his palms. He looks almost… panicked “Hey, um sorry, but-“

“I called Mr. Stain, Tony.” Natasha’s voice is patient. “He told me Ms. Potts had already informed him you weren’t taking calls for the day. He said to take as long as you need off. You can do this.” 

He doesn’t say anything else, just looks out the window. His breath has gone ragged and he's clasping his hands together so tight his knuckles are white. I reach out to grasp his shoulder but he jerks away. 

“Tony-“

“Hey Pep!” He shouts, strangled, interrupting me. “Nat! I mean Nat. Duh-“

“Alright James, pull over. Tony get out of the car.” Natasha orders, and Bucky pulls to the side of the rode.

“No I can do this! I’m fine Nat really! Let me do this.”

“Out. Don’t whine. Get in the back James.” Bucky huffs but gets out of the car. He leans against the hood waiting for Tony to move. Tony goes limp his head between his knees. Natasha gets out and opens his door. She touches his shoulder.

He looks up at her with soft brown eyes. “Sorry,” He mumbles.

“Don’t be. It’s my job to keep you safe,” She turns hard eyes on me,“Fuck everyone else.” I didn’t realize I was staring.

Tony slumps out of the car and Bucky flops down beside me. Nat gives us both a stern looks and slams the door. There’s a beat before Bucky says. “What the fuck is going on?”

“I have no idea. What is going on James?”

Bucky winces at the use of the name. “She-that girl is scary. She flat out told me Bucky was a stupid name and she wasn’t going to call me that, pick pocketed my wallet and I guess now I’m James.” he wrinkles his nose.

“That’s rough buddy.” I say more than a little amused and pat him on the shoulder. It feels good to sit with him like this, knee to knee, thigh to thigh.

“Whatever. it’s better than blondie. That’s original.”

“Bucky be nice.”

“Why because the kids a basket case now?”

“I’m pretty sure he’s older then you. And besides, you’re the one who’s jealous of him.”

“Not jealous. I’m just being carful. ” He looks incredulously at me, bangs falling in his eyes, jaw set in a stubborn pout. “Tony Stark. He’s supposed to be some kinda play boy type right? What is he havin fucking panic attacks for?”

“How do you know so much about him anyway?”

“While he was showing off for you I googled him.”

The thought makes me queasy. “That feels dirty.”

“It’s not a euphemism Stevie.” 

“Buck if he wants to tell us what’s going on he should be the one to do it. Not some gossip article”

"Well I didn't find out what's going on did I? Just that he's gone off the deep end after his parents died in December."

He's an orphan? "That's a pretty good reason to be having panic attacks. Did it say what-"

Bucky jabs me in the ribs cutting me off. They’re coming back.

Tony starts to get in the driver’s seat. “So how ‘bout some tunes?” He twists the radio on and It’s like he hit the reset button. He’s singing, loudly, along with the radio and making jokes all along the coast line and through the park.

“He’s showing off again,” Bucky mumbles in my ear.

I’m just glad Tony’s acting less iritic. “Let him be Buck.”

“Stop taking up for this guy Steve, he’s bad news. He hasn’t quit flirting with you even after I told him to fuck off and It’s really starting to piss me off.”

“Bucky!” I hiss, jerking away from him. I hope Tony didn’t hear that.

“He’s going to get his ass handed to him if he doesn’t leave you alone.”

“Stop. Talking.” I say through gritted teeth. Tony’s singing too loud to some Taylor Swift song but Natasha, she’s a sly one. She’s going to pick up on it and throw us out of the car.

“Whatever. I’m telling you he’s bad news.” Bucky turns to glower out the window. And I know we shouldn’t be fighting. I know this is our last summer together but, I can’t shake this feeling that Tony needs us around. Like he desperately needs a friend and I know how it feels to be drowning like that.

It doesn’t make me less despicable. I shouldn’t be putting this guy I’ve known for five minutes over my boyfriend. The one person who’s been there for me when I was drowning.

And I feel like scum. Like something you’d find on the bottom of your shoe. Buck doesn’t deserve this bad boyfriend treatment. I reach for his hand as a kind of truce, but he pushes me away.

“This is it folks” Tony crows, parking the car “The best view on this side of the county is only 1.4 miles away.” He reaches around the seat to grab the yellow back pack grinning at me. I give him a hollow smile in return. His eyes are bright now. So different from the frightened panic of an hour ago. I don’t want him to worry.

The air is thick between Bucky and I. He doesn’t look at me or wait for me, he leaves me in the car by myself as I pull the red backpack out from under the seat.

We walk down the path in silence. The small sign in white painted letters reads: DAMNATION CREEK TRL. DEADEND IN 1.4 MILES CAUTION STEEP STRENUOUS TRAIL.

Underneath the official trail description there are warnings carved into the sign, and I trace them with my fingertips. “Danger. Hike at your own risk.” I turn back to Tony. “This is the trail you’ve been raving about?”

He tips his head back rolling his eyes. “It’s not that bad. It’s there just to spook the tourists. Come on come on! Your city boy ass is gonna love this.” He bounds out ahead of us taking the lead followed by Bucky and Natasha. I try to keep up but-I’ve never seen anything this green before. I want to take pictures of everything. Pictures of the trees, the leaves on the ground, the canopy, the moss on the rocks. It’s like a different world and I don’t want to forget anything about it. At first I try to keep up with Bucky and Natasha but it isn’t long before they’re way ahead of me. So I let myself relax. I take my time.

I bend down to photograph a couple of bright yellow banana slugs against the dark green moss growing on a tree trunk.

“I think this is more of my pace.” I wheel around and Tony’s sitting on a boulder behind me.

“Jeeze Tony! You scared the heck out of me!”

He hops down off his perch and lands beside me. “Sorry blondie, didn’t mean to startle you. I was just catching my breath. I guess when you don’t do this kind of physical activity for six months it catches up to you.

I thought you knew I was here.”

“I was in the zone.” I hold up my camera.

“Yeah you looked pretty into your slugs.”

“I can’t get enough of this place. It’s so…unreal. Like something out of a dream. I can’t believe you got to grow up here.”

“Oh I didn’t grow up here, this was our vacation place. The main house is down south in Malibu. My dad gave the place up here to my mom as a wedding present. Nicest thing he ever did for her.”

“So you spent your summer’s out here?”

We start to stroll slowly down the trail, "Summer vacation, Thanksgiving, Christmas. We, I mean-she and I, spent as much time out here as possible. She was really into the nature thing. We did a lot of hiking out here.”

“I wish my mom had time for that kind of stuff. It was just her and me at home and she worked a lot of hours when I was growing up. Twelve-hour hospital shifts tend to run a person ragged.

We didn’t have a lot of money and I couldn’t do to much back then. I was sick a lot as a kid. Scrawny and in and out of the hospital."

“Wait, you? scrawny? Mister Hercules?”

“It’s not funny. Don’t.”

“What? Use my eyes?”

These kind of comments make me cringe. I wonder what he’d say if he knew the old me. I turn to examine one of the massive red woods before continuing, “It took a lot for me to get healthy like this and my mom is part of that

She worked hard for me to have a better life. And when she did get time off she took me to museums and art exhibit’s because that’s what I was interested in. I don’t think she ever did anything for herself.”

“Moms. Pretty selfless people right? This was here escape and even here she couldn’t get away from me. We came up here a lot just the two of us. Unless I was being a complete shit. Then she would ditch my ass and leave me with my dad. Sometimes she liked to watch the world burn.”

“Ha! Did you and your dad not get on?”

He gave me a look over his sun glasses, “You do not wanna open that can of worms.”

I shake my head, “That’s fine. I'm not going to push you to-“

“Listen, my dad was a grade A jerk. I can’t tell you how many times I thought my mom was going to kick him to the curb but she was determined to make it work. Maybe she loved him I don’t know.” He pushes out a sigh and slips his sunglasses up on to his head. “That was- not what I wanted to say. Sometimes I open my mouth and words pour out.”

“No Tony, it’s okay. I like hearing you talk about it. We’re friends.”

“Yeah okay were friends, doesn’t mean I have to unload on you. That’s why I pay for therapy. Why don’t you tell me about your mom? Is she still working twelve hour shifts?”

I look away from him. “She passed away actually. When I was 14. It was a hit and run.”

“Jesus, Steve. I’m sorry.” He’s not looking my way but he touches my hand, swift and lightly, for just a second.

“It was-hard. I had no other family to rely on. But Bucky’s parents took me in. Even though he has a big family. They always had food on the table. They treated me like everybody else. Not like little orphan Annie.”

“Wait,” Tony raised his eyebrows, “You’ve lived with Bucky? Like with his family?”

“Yeah. We grew up together. He’s always been with me.” I bend down to take a shot of a particularly stand out ray of sunshine.

“How long have you two been together?” he asks carefully. Like he’s defusing a bomb.

“Oh I’m not sure. Since freshman year of high school I guess.”

“That’s a long time. You’ve never had another boyfriend? Never kissed anyone else?”

I turn back around towards him. “What’s it matter if I’ve never been in a relationship with anyone else?”

“I’m just surprised that’s all. I mean when I first saw you I didn’t even realize you were a couple.”

“There’s more than one was in a relationships, Tony. You must not have been in many either or you would know that.” It comes out sharper than I meant it and I can see the hurt in his big brown eyes.

He starts backtracking, talking fast.“Okay that was the wrong thing to say. I didn’t mean it and your right I’m shit at relationships. The physical stuff is easy but the emotional crap? Pep used to say I have the emotional range of a teaspoon.”

Was this supposed to be an apology? I wish he'd stop looking at me that way. “Who’s Pep? You keep mentioning her.”

“I do?” He pinches the bridge of his nose “Pepper. She was my- It’s really complicated. Can we skip it?”

The trail takes a sharp turn, “Is she your ex or-“

Tony interrupts me with a moan. “Oh Christ I forgot about this mud.”

I look down at the path covered in sticky black mud. Bucky and Natasha wait at the edge of a field several feet ahead of us near a field of sunflowers. The stalks reach up to the sky past the top of my head.

“Oh.”

Tony’s grinning beside me. “If you think this is great, honey you ain’t seen nothing yet.”

“Nice of you to join us.” Buck says giving me a bright smile, the argument in the car forgotten. 

“It was worth the wait,” I give him a tentative smile in return. “You should see some of the great photos I shot.”

“I’ll see them later. We’ve got a hike to finish.” He claps a hand to my shoulder, before turning back, heading into the field of sunflowers.

Tony looks from Bucky to me. A mix of confusion and annoyance on his face. He starts into the field. Tony pulls at the giant sunflowers breaking one off the stalk. He steps past Bucky and offers it to Natasha with a charming flourish. She takes it and unceremoniously whacks him with it.

“Ow!” He whines.

“You should know better” She says sticking the sunflower down his shirt.

Tony rubs at his chest, scowling. “I think there’s something seriouslyy wrong with you.” He grumbles.

Bucky snorts.

“You want it?” Tony asks him.

“Get that thing away from me, Stark.”

Tony sighs loudly and twirls the stalk between his palms.

The sun has finally broken through the clouds and pours over the field of flowers. “Hey, I’m going to take some more pictures. I’ll catch up.”

“Kay,” Buck waves me off and disappears between the stalks, Natasha somewhere ahead of him.

Tony stands off to the side, watching me with wide eyes.

“What?” I say.

“What?”

“Are you okay?”

“Ye-ah. Are you?”

“Your staring.”

His ears turn bright red and his eyes go even wider. “Shit , am I? Sorry, I’m so- here.” He shoves the flower at me. “Please don’t beat me with it.”

“Thanks,” I put it through the top of my back pack.

Tony walks a few feet ahead and picks up a sunflower head off the ground. “I can’t believe they just left us.”

“It’s fine.” I say, pulling my camera from my jacket pocket.

“See-the thing is,” he starts pulling at the petals of his sunflower. “If you- If I had a boyfriend, I wouldn’t abandon him in the middle of nowhere”

“It’s not like we're in the middle of the woods. There’s a path.” 

“It’s weird. I’m throwing it out there.”

“Tony,” I toss out a warning.

“When’s the last time he held your hand? Or said you looked nice? Or gave you a goddamn flower?” he throws the flower down.

“You’re not getting in between Bucky and I. We’ve been together a long time. It’s just the way we operate.”

He’s quiet. Maybe he’s taken the hint.

But no, that would be to easy. “I’m not trying to get in between you. I’m just making an observation. And I think it’s weird that he’d just leave you alone in the woods with some guy you hardly know.”

“What? Do you ever listen to yourself talk? You don’t know anything about us. What do you know about being in relationships anyway?”

“I learned from watching the world’s worst couple interact, okay? They didn’t hold hands either. Or talk or do -anything together. And excuse you, I was in a relationship for a year and a half. That’s not since 8th grade or whatever, gross, but it was significant period of time. It sucks that it didn’t last, thanks for bringing that up by the way, but when we were together I was a better boyfriend then Bucky is, and I was a terrible boyfriend.” He huffs. Looks back down the path and then back at me and storms off like a petulant child.

So what? So what he doesn't hold my hand? Or give me flowers. Who cares. it’s never bothered me no matter what Stark thinks. And he trusts me. He knows I’m not going to do anything with this guy. Even if he’s jealous. Tony doesn't know what we’ve been through. We were friends first. That makes things different.

Doesn’t it? 

I can’t even concentrate on my camera and the light is changing. The clouds moving across the sky and over the sun. And I’m stuck in this muddy field alone.

“Oh Shit!”

Tony’s in trouble.

I book it out of the field slipping a little in the mud. Natasha's hanging over the edge of a cliff side, her hair dangling above the water and sharp rocks below. Tony looks like a man possessed.

“This is bad, this is bad, this is bad, this is bad.” He’s walking in circles, hands tugging at his hair.

“Tony,” I grab him by the shoulders shaking him a bit. “Tony, breath. What’s going on? Where’s-“

“I didn’t push him I swear to God! He went over the cliff. I tried to grab him, but he just slipped through my fingers. Oh shit, this is so bad.”

No.

“I really tried to grab him, I did, but he was falling so fast. I swear to god, I’m not a murder, Steve please stop looking at me like that.”

My hands tighten around his shoulders. “You pushed Bucky off a cliff?” Ice runs through my veins. I’ve never felt this angry in my life.

“No! Ow ow ow ow! Steve, get off me!” He pushes me away. "I’ve been trying to tell you, I didn’t push him! He fell!”

“How does somebody just fall off a cliff?”

“He may have pushed me and I pushed him back and one thing led to another and-“

“You pushed him off a goddamn cliff!”

There’s a splash behind us and we both run to the cliff side to see Natasha dragging Bucky’s body to the rocky shore line.

Bucky.

I race toward the shoreline with Stark following behind me. Natasha’s giving him mouth to mouth resuscitation and he’s coughing up a lung as I reach them. I drop to my knees and brush his dark hair out of his face. Its matted with blood.

“Bucky, it’s Stevie, open your eyes. Please.”

He’s so still. Something twists inside my chest like a knife. I’m crying. When did I start crying? “Please wake up.”

Natasha touches my shoulder. “Steve, I need you to focus. Look at me. He’s lost a significant amount of blood. We need to get him to a hospital. I need you to pick him up and take him to the car. Can you do that? It’s going to be a long walk. This isn’t going to be easy. Can I count on you?”

I nod mechanically and scoop Bucky up into my arms. We walk and walk and walk. Natasha ties a tourniquet around his head from the first kit in my backpack. I’m hardly aware of Stark flitting around behind me like a lost little kid. I am grateful for his silence though.

When we finally reach the car we lay him out in the back seat. He hasn’t stirred for the eternity it took to get us here. I sit with his head on my lap. Natasha tells Stark to sit in the passenger seat and she starts the engine.

He looks so peaceful. Like he’s sleeping. Like he looked this morning in the tent when I was kicking him. I feel like I’m going to hurl. Today has been a nightmare. I wish we’d never met that stupid prick-

Bucky moans quietly in my lap.

“Bucky?”

He opens his eyes and squints up at me.

“Who the hell is Bucky?”

**Author's Note:**

> Hey thank you for reading!


End file.
